So after coming home from hanging with Oppa and the female version of Sheldon, I finished off the last of my Aero without even tasting it. I’m not sure why either. I think it made me feel sick. And my stomach hurts now.
I went outside to get the washing in but proceeded to flip out on my sister, get shouted at, and break down and cry. I’m still not sure why I was crying… I have a pain in my chest, too. It’s been there since… Idk… Tuesday? I’m not sure why it hurts.
I think I have reached my limit. I know I’m a closed person. I bottle all my feelings up so they don’t get in the way of other people. I’ve done this for so long that I don’t remember why I started doing it in the first place. So technically… It’s my own fault. I’m a mess. I’m like a bottle. Filled with gas, rather than liquid. The gas is compressed and compressed to fit more and more in up until the point that the bottle can’t hold any more and… Explodes. This process is highly irreversable and painful… If I try to walk away from this mess, I’ll cut my feet on the glass. So I have to stay here and deal with it. Seeing as though my coping mechanism was broken during the explosion… I don’t think I can handle it on my own.

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