So there’s been another one of those copy and paste statuses on Facebook. This one happened to be another one about how you met the person whose status it was. BUT THERE WAS A TWIST! (Dun dun dunnnn) – you had to lie. Me being me got really creative. I’m so proud of what I wrote, I decided to copy and paste them on here for you all to read. Aren’t you lucky?

“I met you 1300 years in the future. We were both jetpacking to the café at the end of the universe. We ended up ordering the same thing and discussing the different layers of fudge sauce and ice cream within the item we were consuming. After this, we went home and I introduced you to my toaster, Trevor, and my bed, Sam. We made toast named Keith and Chester and found a time travelling device under Sam. You decided you were an expert on time travelling and got us stuck in this era. Thanks.”

“We met in the future while taking our jetpacks in for repair. We had such a good chat that we decided to visit my dragon-in-law so he could make a time travelling device. The dial on the time travelling controls got stuck on this era. So here we are.”

“We met while scuba diving in the Indian Ocean. You had no oxygen tank so I had to lend you mine and almost drowned dragging you to shore. Luckily, there was a pineapple nearby that saved my life. It did mouth to mouth rescussitation on me (personally, I think it just wanted to get its tongue in my mouth). Anyway. After it revived me, we got up and walked away from it like nothing happened. Then we ate ice cream.”

My favourite:

“We met in a place very, very far away. I think it was called Neverland. There, we were ameobas that barely existed. You sauntered over to me (as ameobas do) and told me you were sick of being an ameoba. So we grouped together with some of the other ameobas and stormed the gates of Neverland. Because we were only single-celled organisms, the guards didn’t even notice us and we escaped with ease. After leaving Neverland, I grew up into a fully functioning intelligent human. I’m not sure what went wrong with you.”

“I found you in a box. A cardboard one at the bottom of the sea while I was scuba diving. Someone must have thrown you away because you were defective. But don’t worry, I brought you back up to the surface and fixed you with my expert mechanical skills. That’s right, you’re a robot. Made of aluminium.”

This one was kinda mean:

“Well… The Omega justice system came across you and decided you weren’t fit for humanity. They then took you to the future and used a weird machine to turn you into an ameoba. I was the genius that turned you into an ameoba and used the rest of your cells for something useful. I then travelled back in time with you in your ameoba form and dumped you somewhere. You must have congealed and grown while I was busy partying.”

And I think that’s about it… I’m so proud of these. Though I talk about time travel, jetpacks and ameobas a lot.

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