Yesterday, I managed to break my DS. Again. This time, however, it was because I threw it with a lot of force at my sisters bed. So much force that it bounced off of the bed and hit the wall on the other side…
The reason I threw it was so that I didn’t punch my darling sister in the face. I don’t even remember why I was angry with her or why I was so agitated yesterday, and still was a little this morning after hours yesterday evening of void emptiness. Now I’m back to void emptiness.
My father shouted at me yesterday for being in such a mood. He threatened to hit me if I acted that way again. He never once stopped to ask why I was angry or why I was upset or anything…
Seems he forgot about his threat though because he claimed that I was acting in the same way this morning and he didn’t hit me. He just shouted some more. Again, he didn’t ask what was up.
He tends not to ask what’s up. I got out of the habit of telling him a long time ago simply because he never asked.
Now, the fragmented relationship I have with him causes me a lot of inner turmoil and I can’t talk to him about it. Every time I try to talk to him about it, he shouts and blames it all on me. Maybe it is my fault…

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