Category: Video Games

The Video Game Curve



Anyone involved in the private beta of Starhawk can say that it is quite impressive, to say the least. Now I was never a hardcore Warhawk fan, but I can say Starhawk seems interesting. My parents, however, are thoroughly impressed.
The biggest new feature is the building. Building what? Bases. Outposts. Supply bunkers. Jetpack despenser. Automated turrets.
The automated turrets are great but it takes most of my gameplay away from me. All I really did on Warhawk was sit in the turrets and shoot planes and tanks, etc, and take over the zones while in a jeep. Those two things have been eradicated from gameplay and replaced with automated turrets and pod beacons. Oh no! Whatever will I do? Build and defend. That’s pretty much all I’m good for… So if you want to win, don’t have me on your team in a war game. I suck.
Alongside building is the destruction. You can now destroy the other team’s buildings and you can also reclaim your own team’s buildings. I watched my dad reclaim a ton of walls around his base just to put more walls in different places. I mean, it’s like leaving the house and coming back to find that your partner has rearranged the furniture and/or remodelled parts of the house. Here’s me wishing the destruction and building of walls was as simple and easy as it is in Starhawk. I’d redesign this house in minutes! It’d be like Sims… But I digress.
Starhawk is base-raping made easy, alright. You can go to the opposite team’s base and place a pod beacon there. It doesn’t matter if you die because having the pod beacon there means your team can spawn there and man-cake the lot of them! (Note: man-caking flattening them. Like a pancake. Only with a man. Man-cake.) When faced with a base-raping situation, you have to be on the right side (the base-raping side) and not the wrong side (the base-raped side). Or you have to be really experienced with this sort of stuff… Say, if you were a general (obsessive twat) in Warhawk like my dad.
My favourite part is the mechs. The mechs are pretty easy to use and, if you press circle, they change into a hawk (plane). It’s Transformers Starhawk style! Maybe that’s where the idea came from. Santa Monica Studios and Lightbox Interactive – I’m on to you.

Now when somebody wants to buy me something… I can appreciate the gesture. I happen to think it’s a really sweet gesture. But I tell them not to. I can appreciate the simple fact that they want to give me something that will make me smile. That alone is enough to contract the four muscles in my face which are required to smile.
Now, bearing this in mind, more often than not, they go ahead and buy me something anyway. It never is something small money-wise, really, which makes me feel a little guilty because the only gifts I ever really buy for people are simple, little impulse buys because I want to make the person smile a little.
Money is no object to me. But only when it’s my money. I don’t like other people spending their money on me… They could use that money to make themselves happy or to make sure they eat properly or something that means it isn’t wasted on me. But I appreciate it nonetheless.
My darling Shaan-kun bought me Tekken 6 because we’d been playing Tekken 5 at the weekend and the online mode is terrible. It lags WAY too much. It thoroughly got on my nerves (it meant I couldn’t pull off this one combo I’d spent the best part of half an hour trying to perfect… Not that I’d managed to perfect it). Shaan-kun tried to convince me that he only went easy on me once. Judging by the way he fought the other players in the online room, the other times: I won by luck; he went easy on me; or he got lazy and couldn’t really be bothered because it actually wouldn’t take much to beat me (I’m terrible at Tekken). Apparently, Tekken 6 is a lot better online. We’ll see, eh?
I think it’s cute that Shaan-kun got me Tekken 6. Means we can play Tekken online together without it lagging terribly. AND it has a co-op mode (so I’m told) so we don’t necessarily have to fight each other, which is a bonus. I appreciate the thoughtfulness of the gift… Though I wish he wouldn’t have spent money on me.

The Sims 3 – Nintendo Wii

I decided earlier today that I’d play The Sims 3 on the Wii. After loading it up, I remembered that it bores me easily and looked up cheats for it. There are no cheats for the Wii version! Why are there no cheats for the Wii version? This saddens me.
Sims is only fun with cheats and glitches. Though it kinda sucks after a while of cheats and glitches… Cheats make it easy and glitches make it interesting.
I spent the whole of The Sims 2 putting trees inside the house. It seems they stole that luxury from me with The Sims 3…
It also makes no sense that you can buy really large houses but can’t put them down. What is the meaning of this?! There was no point in even including them, in this case!
The aging thing completely loses me, too. You cannot keep the Sims game going. Producing offspring becomes boring after a while – that poor Sim! Spewing out offspring like a cheap hooker that forgets the condoms… Honestly.
I think The Sims 3 is quite overrated. But if you like Sims games, it’s probably as good as it gets… Hopefully EA will start making more interesting games for the other consoles, rather than just the PC.
As a casual gamer and an avid player of the Sims games, The Sims 3 gets a 4/5 from me…

GTA V – Newly Released Trailer


I played Final Fantasy XIII yesterday for the first time in quite a while… I love the game, it’s amazing. I recommend it to anyone who likes RPGs. I found myself to be stuck on this one bit – a boss. The strange boss that keeps changing type during battle in Chapter Five: Operation Nora. I spent an hour yesterday trying to defeat this thing and almost got there… But then I died… Man, I suck at this game… I can’t call myself an FFFanatic… My arm now hurts after playing that, not just my wrist. I keep playing Sims, too, because I have no decent games that I can be bothered playing that are for the PS2 or the Wii which we have upstairs. Seriously, it’s frustrating. Really, I wanna play Fable or Forza like I did when I stayed at my Oppa’s house but I don’t have the games or the appropriate console. Maybe I’ll get a job… Like a paper round… I’m still undecided about that. I hate having no money.

Chaos Legion

This game has a lot to be desired, if I’m honest… It’s supposed to have a storyline but it offers no… Grip to it. I don’t even know what the game is about and I find it kinda boring… It’s a haphazard beat ’em up with a half try of a storyline. It seems like it’s missing something important… But if you like third person close combat games that don’t really seem to make sense… It’s not a bad game. I’d give it a 4/10…